So I am going to get real here... and this something that is weighing heavily on my mind a lot lately and something I came across on my personal IG account really set me off today.
Before I get started, This post is not intended to shame any mom for any of her choices. This post is not meant to make any one or group of moms feel bad. this post is solely intended to end the mom shaming, end the rude comments and slander towards one another's parenting choices and to get everyone to open their eyes and realize what one parent does for their child may not be best for another's child. ** Except vaccines.... please vaccinate your children or keep them where they can not get other kids sick... see what I did there ? I did not shame another parent for not vaccinating, i just said hey its your choice just don't risk my child's health with your choice.
I wont say who said it but it really pissed me off and made me feel like and inadequate mom. I know I am not. I know I am doing the best I can as a mother, I am far from perfect but I am a good mom.
this is a quoted text..... " Breast milk is best, how can you as a mom give your babies less?"
#breastisbest #onlythebest #rockingitasamom #stillgoingstrong
Now I doubt that this person meant it to shame other moms, however when she said it ( or typed it for that matter) she was shaming me and all other moms who didn't breast feed. Normally I just keep quiet about things like this but I am done being quiet. I am tired of feeling like I screwed up as a parent Because I didn't Breast feed.
so I understand the benefits of breast feeding. I understand that it makes your child healthier in general, that your child and you get to bond and that your breast milk will change according to your child's health needs. Alright cool awesome....
so I will just come out and say it.
I DID NOT BREAST FEED.
but please before you go crucifying me for not breast feeding my son hear me out. I tried. ( don't tell me i didn't try hard enough, because I am sooooooo tired of hearing that. )
I did try from the minute he was born I knew something was up.( in fact I knew before that because usually about the time a woman's breasts start leaking during pregnancy, mine did not. they did not up until I delivered my son). He would latch just fine, but he would cry for hours. I know that is what newborns do. but in my gut I felt like something was wrong he was still so hungry. the lactation specialist I saw in the hospital said I would stop producing colostrum and start producing actual breast milk within 3 or 4 days. So finally one of the nurses caved into my demands and brought me some formula. Xman was so content that he instantly hushed and slept. after we went home for the next 2 weeks I continued to try and feed him breast milk, pump to no avail. i switched him to the supplement formula so that I could still ensure he was full when I felt the breast milk was not enough. he was about 10 days old when i really realized he was not getting enough from me. I had been out all day with some of my family and I had been feeding him the formula I brought with me and when we got home that night he was already fast asleep so I figured I would pump and store. I pumped each breast for over an hour and between both I had only produced 1 oz. At this time my son was already eating 12 oz a day. I was taking Fenugreek supplements, well above the suggested dose ( 4 caplets a day and i was taking 12) I was heartbroken. I packed up my breast pump and switched my son to normal similac. I was going to ensure that he was going to be full and happy. his pediatrician was happy either way, he was gaining weight right on schedule and he healthy. My doctor was at a loss as to why I was not producing and the only thing she could think of was my PCOS and the hormones being out of whack. anyhow I started reaching out to other moms on social media and I quickly learned I was not alone. That a lot of moms with pcos where having this issue.
NEWS FLASH!!! SOME MOMS JUST DON'T PRODUCE!!
So what is the big deal in mom shaming....
Why do we feel this intense needs to put other moms to shame? to judge them for how they choose to parent. You do not like it when people judge you for breast feeding. so instead of trying to end the judgment of women breast feeding and breast feeding in public why don't we work to end the Judgment against Moms ( AND PARENTING IN GENERAL)??
Why do we feel this intense needs to put other moms to shame? to judge them for how they choose to parent. You do not like it when people judge you for breast feeding. so instead of trying to end the judgment of women breast feeding and breast feeding in public why don't we work to end the Judgment against Moms ( AND PARENTING IN GENERAL)??
JUST STOP IT! STOP THAT NOW... no more. Who in the hell are you to judge.... and don't tell me you don't do it because WE ARE ALL GUILTY OF IT! SO JUST STOP IT.
someone once told me, you do you and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.
MY GOD WHAT A CONCEPT. Worry about yourself and mind your own business. You know if we could all do this ( and again I am guilty of it myself) what a world we could live in!
ALSO think before you speak, type or hashtag!!
MOMS and DADS you are doing great, you know what is best for your child, do not make choices for other parents and do not tell them what they are doing is wrong. unless the safety and welfare of their child is at stake leave em be.
someone once told me, you do you and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.
MY GOD WHAT A CONCEPT. Worry about yourself and mind your own business. You know if we could all do this ( and again I am guilty of it myself) what a world we could live in!
ALSO think before you speak, type or hashtag!!
MOMS and DADS you are doing great, you know what is best for your child, do not make choices for other parents and do not tell them what they are doing is wrong. unless the safety and welfare of their child is at stake leave em be.
