Courage and A Mom

cour·age

[ˈkərij]

NOUN

1. the ability to do something that frightens one:

   "she called on all her courage to face the ordeal"

   • strength in the face of pain or grief:
     "he fought his illness with great courage"
     synonyms: bravery · courageousness · pluck · pluckiness 

I feel that I am courageous. I feel that a lot of you have courage. Even if you are not aware of it.

Often times we find that we really truly do not know how courageous we can be. I am not sure if it is that we are naive, or we just choose to be in denial about things like courage, strength or other various subjects like this. 

 My mom is one of those people who has courage. She has had far to many tragedies cross her path. She has really been through the ringer. However in light of everything, when she has cried every tear, she kept waking up. When she she is literally laying there with a blank expression on her face because she wants to cry, she wants to scream, she wants to punch the walls, She keeps going. She wakes up every morning, even when it kills her, she does it. She claims it is because she has no choice. However I think she does have the choice, she chooses to live.

 In 2013 my mom lost her best friend, her life partner. I hated seeing her that way. I still hate seeing her like that, it breaks my heart to see her hurt so much, When she calls me at almost midnight crying because she misses him, and then at noon the next day she is laughing and talking as if nothing ever happened, I know that is the face of true courage. 

When you think about it, it means mustering up every bit of strength you have and you keep pushing forward. However the way I see it is not to muster up all of your strength to keep going. Instead of thinking about courage the way that we have been, lets change that. We all need to be more aware of our own amount of courage, because when we see how much courage we really hold within ourselves, we become better. Not for everyone else, but in our own eyes. That is what really matters, is how much we see our own strength.  

So when you think about courage and yourself, think about when you have absolutely nothing left. No more tears, no more voice to scream, no strength to punch the wall. I hope that one day my mom truly sees all of the courage she actually holds within herself.  That she sees that it is not all just a face she puts on. She has no idea how much I learned about courage from her. I honestly do not think that I would have this level of courage without her.

Remember When life is falling down around you, think about courage and how much you really have. Someone, rather it be children or a friend, someone is watching.